Don’t Know How to be Mentored?

Yes, that is right. Most people that seek mentoring don’t know how to be mentored. Call it arrogance or just plain human nature, opening up to being mentored is difficult and many of us have a resistance to one or more of the diseases of bad mentees.

Diseases of Bad Mentees

1.   They Want to Show Off What they Know

This is my number one flaw. When I meet someone that is further along, I let my brain move faster than my mouth and I start trying to show off what I know already. When you are being mentored, you need to learn to shut up, listen, and ask questions. Are you doing thee same thing? If you are, this is the fastest way to cause your mentor to shut you out and not want to help you.

2. They Don’t Know What they Want

Many people fail to be mentored because they don’t know what they want from the mentoring relationship.  Your mentor is not a mind reader, so it is important to tell them if you are looking for referrals, knowledge, or feedback on how you are progressing. Also, have a very clear idea of where you are trying to go with your pursuit. A mentor is a guide along the path and not the person that selects the path you are to follow in life.

3.  They Want to get Personal

Often in a mentoring relationship, we want to know more about the personal lives of our mentors. Unless your mentor lets you into their personal life, you should not pry into their life outside of the mentoring relationship. Getting too personal can hurt the objectivity of both you and your mentor, so in most cases it is best to keep things professional.

4. They Are an Energy Leech

Don’t bug your mentor with phone calls, e-mails, or other requests for their time, knowledge, and resources. This does not help you develop as a person and can be a drain on the energy of your mentor.

5. They Don’t Do What They Are Told

A mentoring relationship flourishes when you are taking the steps your mentor prescribes. Many times a mentor will tell you to do things you have never done before. Doing them might put you outside of your comfort zone , which is good because doing something different might be what you need to move forward.

How to be Mentored

1. Respect the Your Mentors Time

If your mentor can meet with you for a limited time, then be there on time and be focused on what you need to achieve. Respect the time you are given and don’t miss meetings, be late, or allow the discussions to run over their allotted time.

2.  Keep Secrets Secret

Your mentor might share with you much of the knowledge that they have gained over the years. Respect what your mentor tells you and don’t talk about your meetings or what you discussed on Facebook, Twitter, or any other medium without the express permission of your mentor. There are some things that might be valuable intellectual property to your mentor and they are sharing it to help you and not the world as a whole.

3.  Be Willing to Change

When being mentored, open yourself up to being changed by your mentor. When a mentor makes a suggestion for you to change something and you don’t do it, then they might be less likely to mentor you in the future. You have to be willing to be open to changing what you are doing.

4.       Reciprocate

Time is not free for you or your mentor. There are times where your mentor might as for a referral, an investment in a course, or your help with something in their business. Respect that they are making an investment in you, so you will have to make an investment in them as well.

A Note of Caution: Trust Runs in Both Directions

A mentoring relationship is based on trust. Your mentor must be able to trust that you are a good person and you have to be able to trust your mentor. Never be mentored by someone that asks you to do something illegal or unethical in your industry. If your mentor does do something that you consider unethical, then get out of that mentoring relationship.

Having a mentor can be a wonderful experience, but many of us are burdened by our inability to accept mentorship in our lives. I encourage you to allow yourself to be open to being mentored and give yourself to changing and growing in whatever pursuit you are trying to achieve.

Do you agree or disagree with my stance on mentoring?

Let me know in the comments. I look forward to hearing from you.

As A Dude Thinketh is written and edited by Chris Elliott. Chris helps small businesses figure out what their big idea is, how to get it to market, and how to get people to notice their wonderfulness. He is also a dynamic speaker and trainer in personal growth and public speaking. Do you need help with your next big idea or speech? I encourage you to talk with me to see how I can be of service.

If you liked this post, then you should also check out:

1. Want to Know Warren Buffett’s Nudge?
2. How to be a Superhero – Part 3: Developing Your Superpowers
3. Why Being Great Matters

The last post was about taking action. Why there are many ways that you can take action in becoming a superhero, the most effective way is joining forces with other superheroes.

Why Do You Want to Work with Other Superheroes?

Many new superheroes often wonder, “Why would I want to work with other superheroes? I don’t want to share the glory with someone else. Why do you think I became a superhero in the first place? I did it for the recognition and not to play second fiddle to someone else.”

When you take the plunge and start to develop your superpowers you often say or think statements similar to the one above and it is a very valid statement. One of the reasons I started writing and speaking was because I wanted to be recognized for my work. In a corporate job, we are not often recognized for our contributions and developing our superpowers is a way to get the recognition that makes us feel like we are achieving something greater than ourselves.

Why would we give that up and work with other people?

There are quite a few reasons:

1. Increased Reach

As you develop your superhero status, you will start to attract fans. Your fans are people you have helped, or people that like what you are doing and want to watch to see what you will do next.

When you work with other heroes, you have a chance to reach out to other superhero’s fans and help them in ways that the superhero you are working with cannot. This expands your reach into groups you might not have had access to alone.

2. Ability to Use the Superpowers of Others

Maybe you are a graphic designer for web sites, but you want to offer blog set ups as well. You could join forces with someone more technical that can handle that component while you focus on the design.

You could be a financial planner, but need someone to handle legal matters. When you join forces, you can offer your customers a greater service from someone that has already helped them conquer evil forces.

3. Connections to Other Superheroes

What I enjoy most about joining forces with others is the opportunity to meet other superheroes through the superheroes that I partner with. I cannot spend every moment of my day working with new organizations, so joining forces gives me the opportunity to meet people through other networks without having to be a full member of that community.

4.  Someone to Lean on When Things Aren’t Going Well

No matter how many times you say, “The World is out to do me good,” some days it feels like everything is aligned against you.

Being a superhero is hard. You have the demands of helping people, there are evil doers out to destroy you, and you might have to balance the demands of your alter ego. Some days it might feel like everything is going to come crashing down around your shoulders.

That is why it is good to have other superheroes to talk to when things are going rough. Someone to be there when you get beat down and pick you up. Working with other superheroes can lift you back up and remind you of how important it is to do what you are doing.

They help you move forward when everyone else is pushing you back.

Meeting Other Superheroes

Living as an alter ego, we might not get the opportunity to meet other superheroes that we can work with. You might be in a place where you can’t display your super powers, but there are places you can look meet others on the same quest as yourself.

This includes:

Associations

There are many professional associations that you can become a member of to help you meet other super heroes. Many of these associations have local, national, and international meetings that allow you to get together with others in your industry to network, share ideas, and develop your super powers.

Service Organizations

It is always good to give back as a superhero. Joining an organization such as Rotary, Lions, or Kiwanis gives you an opportunity to work with others for the common good of society. You will also make connections with people that have complementary superpowers to you and demonstrate your commitment to helping others.

Networking Groups

A search of meetup.com or your local paper can lead to many opportunities for networking events in your local area. These are great venues for seeing what other superheroes are doing, giving, and receiving referrals from other superheroes.

Toastmasters

Toastmasters International is a 200,000+ member strong organization devoted to helping people become better public speakers and leaders. I personally have been a member for 4.5 years and have met an amazing number of superheroes that are constantly working on developing their superpowers.

Online Gatherings

I am a member of three online groups that have helped me grow different aspects of my superpowers. These groups are typically lead by an individual or team of superheroes that have developed a community devoted to helping you grow your superpowers.

Working with other Superheroes is Inspiring

The greatest benefit I have found from working with others is the inspiration I get from my fellow superheroes. When I see someone doing great work, it inspires me to work on my superpowers, help more people, and start to live the life that I am inspired to live.

Are there people out there that will try to take advantage of you? Yes, but you cannot let that stop you from going out there and meeting the best people possible. Getting out there and working with others, you will find that you will be able to find the right people and work together to do something great.

What are you waiting for?

Get out there and start doing what you were born to do and become the superhero the world needs you to be.

I hope you enjoyed this series and I would love it if you left me your ideas, comments, and feedback on how we can all become better superheroes.

As A Dude Thinketh is written and edited by Chris Elliott. Chris helps small businesses figure out what their big idea is, how to get it to market, and how to get people to notice their wonderfulness. He is also a dynamic speaker and trainer in personal growth and public speaking. Do you need help with your next big idea or speech? I encourage you to talk with me to see how I can be of service.

If you liked this post, then you should also check out:

1. How to be a Superhero – Part 4: Taking Action
2. How to be a Superhero – Part 1: Liberating the Superhero within You
3. How to be a Superhero – Part 3: Developing Your Superpowers

In my last post, I provided some tips on how you can develop your superpowers. Once your superpowers are significant enough to take on evildoers, it is time to take action. What kind of superhero would you be if you just sat around all day in a rocking chair not helping anyone?

I am a member of a number of different organizations. In these organizations, I meet with superheroes that want to use their superpowers as professional speakers, authors, and consultants. The problem with these superheroes is that they believe there are not enough evildoers out there to pay the bills.

Speaking to one superhero, Mr. Invisible, he might say, “I can’t get anyone interested in hiring me to battle evildoers.”

Another superhero, Ms. Whynotme, might chime in and say, “I don’t get it. Ms. Wonderful has hundreds of people she has helped . . . Why not me?”

Why Not Me?

The reason that many up and coming superheroes are not finding chances to use their superheroes is that they are NOT TAKING ACTION. Instead they are just hanging out online, surfing blog posts, reading another self-help book, or working on adding more initials after their name.

While it is important to develop your superpowers, there comes a point in the development of your superpowers where you have to stop searching for some book, article, or program that will bring people that need help to you. It won’t happen. In order to help people you have to find those people. The best way to find those people is to take action.

Taking Action

Taking action is a big step for many new superheroes. It is the point where they have decided that it is time to stop thinking about being a superhero and start being one. That thought is a big mental hurdle for a lot of people, but it must be overcome in order for you to realize your greatness.

Some ways you can take action are:

• Call People You Can Help – I admit that calling potential customers is extremely intimidating. Calling people scares me as well, but it is one of the most important actions that you can take to find people to help.When calling someone, I am not asking you to cold call anyone. What I am asking you to do is use what you have learned in previous posts and get out and meet people. Using your new found powers of awareness, you can develop a list of people you have met, their problems, and how you can help them.For example, when I meet with people that want to be professional speakers, I will visit their web pages. If they don’t have a website that is very appealing, then I will create a test site on my server that demonstrates what I can do for them to help them make their site more accessible to potential customers.Then comes the hard part., I will call them up mentioning when and where we met. I will tell them I visited their website wanted to how well their website was converting potential clients into paying customers.

  If they don’t know, then I will tell them about the tools I can provide that will make their sites a destination and not just a business card. This sometimes leads to a discussion of how much I charge and when I can have a proposal put together outlining how we can do business.

  Do I always close the deal? No, but I am reaching out trying to help people that need my help. I am taking action.

• Follow Up with Contacts – How many times has someone you met at a networking event said, “I am having a problem with something you might be able to help me with.”You then said, “I will give you a call.”Did you ever call them back?It amazes me how many people avoid taking the action of following up with people that request their assistance. This action is quite simple. If someone asks for your help, make a commitment to call them and follow up on how you can help them. The amount of money that is left on the table is huge from people not taking this simple step.

  There was a time a number of months ago that another blogger wanted to get together and chat about how he could help me on some projects. I thought that it could turn into a business relationship at some point, but I had a few other projects going on that was making it difficult for me to meet to discuss our mutual interests. I asked the person to call me back on a certain week when I would have a better idea of when we can meet.

  The blogger never called me back and potentially missed out on a sale of his services.

  To be a superhero, you must follow up with people that tell you to get back in touch at a later time and date. They might not seem interested when you first meet, but that could be because they are in the middle of some big project and need time and space to consider what you can do to help them.

• Tackle a Big Project – Are you an up and coming blogger? Then create a large series of foundational blog posts. These posts can demonstrate your knowledge of the topic area you are interested in pursuing.I know other superheroes that have written a book, created a product, built a house, or planned a large overseas wedding.The goal is to take on a project larger than your current abilities, but still doable if you put your energy into the project. When you do this, you will find that your superpowers will grow in strength from the difficulty of taking on a big project.

• Ask for Advice – Taking action can mean knowing what you don’t know and being humble enough to admit you need to learn what needs to be done to find people to help. Maybe you are at a loss for what people to speak with at a company, what organization would help you connect with the right people, or how to market your superpowers.Take the action of calling or e-mailing as many people that are doing what you want to do and asking them how you can get the knowledge you need to build your superpowers. Doing this you might learn what class you need to take, what books you need to read, or what jobs that you might need to pursue to develop your superpowers. It might also connect you with other superheroes that you can work with.

• Connect with Other Superheroes – We will discuss this topic specifically in the last post in this series, however I will mention here that taking action can be joining forces with other superheroes in order to fill the gaps in your knowledge. I know speakers that join forces with web design experts to create educational websites. Taking action can be hanging out with other superheroes and finding out where a connection can be made that benefit both parties in their development.

A Personal Story

I have been blogging on and off for years. Most of my early attempts were on blogger.com before learning how to sign up for a webhost, buy a domain name, and install Wordpress. After learning how to do that, I had to continue to refine my knowledge of the technology while working on my writing skills.

It was not an easy process and I have had many missteps. I have had my sites hacked, moved web servers, bought useful books, bought useless products, started, and then stopped many different blogs. Each time I learned a little more, developed my abilities, and became a part of different groups and communities. If you are reading this, know that I didn’t start knowing anything, but have gotten to a point where I can write and post this with relative ease.

I took action by getting out there and starting to tackle the big project of starting a blog. When I wasn’t getting the readers, I started to ask people for feedback on what I was doing wrong. I then reached out to other bloggers, did some guest posts, and started to develop a small but loyal readership.

What I have learned and continue to learn every day is that you have to take action to make things happen. People don’t magically come to you asking for help. You have to go out and find them and when you do, you have to take action to show them how you can help.

How will You Take Action?

As you have embraced your superpowers, I hope that you realize that the journey has just begun. There are many more ways for you to learn and develop and I hope that this post has highlighted a few that have benefited me in my development.

Let me know how you are going to take action in the comments.

As A Dude Thinketh is written and edited by Chris Elliott. Chris helps small businesses figure out what their big idea is, how to get it to market, and how to get people to notice their wonderfulness. He is also a dynamic speaker and trainer in personal growth and public speaking. Do you need help with your next big idea or speech? I encourage you to talk with me to see how I can be of service.

If you liked this post, then you should also check out:

1. How to be a Superhero – Part 5: Joining Forces with Other Superheroes
2. How to be a Superhero – Part 3: Developing Your Superpowers
3. How to be a Superhero – Part 1: Liberating the Superhero within You

The Story of an Amaryllis

In November, my then girlfriend (now fiancée), bought an Amaryllis bulb (which is actually a Hippeastrum).  Her hope was that the Amaryllis would bloom in time for Christmas. Being a flower lover, she read about proper Amaryllis care and she lovingly tended to the sprouting base of the plant. She made sure it was in a sunny location by the back patio door, she watered it when it needed water, and she checked it daily to make sure that the plant’s needs were met.

The plant was placed near a table in her house where I often sit and work on the computer. For weeks I would look down at the nub and comment, “Your plant is not growing.”

My girlfriend’s standard response was, “Yes it is growing. Just wait and see. By Christmas it will be a beautiful flower.”

Weeks passed and Christmas had almost arrived. All that was to be seen of this beautiful flower was a brown nub with a few tiny leaves poking out. Every time I saw this gangly little nub, I would make the same comment, “Your plant is not growing.”

A few days before Christmas, she finally made the conclusion to move the brown nub in front of a large window upstairs.

Within forty eight hours, the leaves that were poking out of that little nub grew an inch. The next day, the leaves had grown more, and within a week the leaves of the flower had grown over four inches. The flower grew because my beautiful, yet stubborn, girlfriend finally moved the flower to a different place where it was exposed to a different temperature, lighting, and humidity.

How Your Superpowers Might be Like an Amaryllis

As you pursue the adventurous life of a superhero, you might get to the point where, despite your best efforts you are not seeing an increase in the quality of your superpowers. Maybe you know what you want to do, but you haven’t been able to get any clients, create any products, or get hired for the job of your dreams. You are in a rut and don’t know how to get out of it.

You are like the Amaryllis, because you have great potential to be wonderful, but you are not growing. You are stuck in the wrong place unable to break free and realize your true potential.

In order to develop your superpowers, you must make some changes in your life. Some of these changes will be big changes, other changes will be small. Big or small, the important thing is that you are doing one or more of the following activities.

• Change Your Environment – Your environment has a huge effect on your productivity and ability to develop your superpowers. Here are a few ways that you can change you environment to spur development of your superpowers.
• Get Involved in an Organization – Many new superheroes will start their journey without a clear idea of the needs of the people they are helping. By joining an organization in the field you are interested in helping, you can surround yourself with practitioners in that field, other service providers, and people that are thriving in the field you have chosen. Getting involved in an organization also gives you credibility in the field and provides you with educational opportunities that are only available to members of the organization. A final benefit is that it gets you out of the house or office and into a new environment with new ideas, people, and opportunities for growth.
• Try to Find a New Job – I have seen many people crushed by their current employment. They have no energy, no drive, and no desire to create a life of their dreams. By getting out and getting a new job, you can have a feeling of doing something new and exciting. This can push you to developing new ideas, learning new skills, and furthering the development of your superpowers.
• Move Your Personal Workspace – Sometimes something as simple as moving your workspace can have a profound impact on your productivity. Maybe the desk you work on is a mess. Getting some new filing cabinets and getting everything clean and organized might make you more productive. Maybe you are in a dark corner of the room. Moving to a better lit corner might give you more energy during the day to develop the superpowers you are working on.

Increase the Knowledge of Your Superpowers

As you develop your superpowers, you will need to develop your knowledge of those powers. As Superman went to the Fortress of Solitude to study the knowledge crystals provided by his father, you will also need to find sources of information to learn about your superpowers. Some examples are:

• Study a Book – As you develop your superpowers, you will need to develop your knowledge of those powers. As Superman went to the Fortress of Solitude to study the knowledge crystals provided by his father, you will also need to find sources of information to learn about your superpowers.  If you are tight on cash, then you can go to the library and study the books about superpowers you would like to develop. In most cities, libraries are great sources of information about a wide variety of topics. If you don’t have access to a library, then order a book off of Amazon that is current and has a decent amount of positive reviews.
• Take a Course – Many large cities and suburbs in the United State have community training and development programs. For $100 or less, these communities offer classes in graphic design, web page development, cooking, dancing, yoga, tai chi, and many other topics. You can also look into degree or non-degree classes at local universities and community colleges.
• Get a Product – If libraries and your local community let you down, you can turn to the Internet to find a product that can help you develop your superpowers. There are many products available on product creation, web design, knitting, and any number of other areas that you might be interested in pursuing. Search sites like clickbank.com or the E-Junkie Marketplace for potential products that might provide you the information you need to develop your powers.

Small Changes can have a Big Effect

Sometimes a small change to the best environment for you will take you from being a small nub to a beautiful plant. When you are in the best environment, you might also find that you are stymied by a lack of knowledge of your superpowers. Working in the right environment, you can begin to study and learn more about your abilities. When these two tasks have increased your superpowers, you can then start taking action which we will talk more about in the next post.

Superpowers Take Time to Develop

Growing your superpowers will take time, energy, and in many cases some financial investment. The same way building a house takes buying and pouring a foundation, developing your superpowers takes spending time and energy in the right environment, with the right knowledge, and taking the right action. This is not an overnight process, but starting now is the best way to move toward future success.

If this post has given you some insight into helping you grow your superpowers, let me know in the comments how you are going to change your environment or learn more about how your superpowers can be put to use.

As A Dude Thinketh is written and edited by Chris Elliott. Chris helps small businesses figure out what their big idea is, how to get it to market, and how to get people to notice their wonderfulness. He is also a dynamic speaker and trainer in personal growth and public speaking. Do you need help with your next big idea or speech? I encourage you to talk with me to see how I can be of service.

If you liked this post, then you should also check out:

1. How to be a Superhero – Part 4: Taking Action
2. How to be a Superhero – Part 5: Joining Forces with Other Superheroes
3. How to be a Superhero – Part 1: Liberating the Superhero within You

Have you ever noticed that superheroes are highly aware of what is going on around them at all times? A superhero pays close attention to what is being thrown at them and is able to respond with the correct actions that defeats the bad guys.

While you are not fighting a super villain bent on taking over the world, you are trying to help people that might not know how to explain what problem they have that needs solved. For example, think of the last time you tried to explain to your mechanic the funny noise your car was making. Was the mechanic paying enough attention to both what you were saying and how you were saying it to determine the cause of the noise? Was he (or she) able to diagnosis the problem based on your non-technical description?

If yes, then the mechanic was aware of both what you were saying and how you were saying it. This is not only important for mechanics, but also important for anyone that has to listen to a technical problem being described by a non-technical person and find a way to fix it.

Other examples of superhero awareness are:

• The Tai Chi Instructor that can see you doing a movement incorrectly in the mirror 30 feet away with his back turned and is able to yell out a correction to your form.
• The web designer that knows that when a customer says they want a “Facebook thingy,” they are referring to the html code that allows visitors to follow their page on Facebook.
• The life coach that can tell by the posture of their client that they have not completed the task they said they were going to complete the week before and is able to offer advice on how to get the task done.
• The copywriter that sees how the incorrect placement of a product name distracts page visitors enough that they might not click on the buy now button and makes a correction for their client that increases sales.

Awareness can be developed as you develop your superpowers, but having a heightened awareness of the world you inhabit makes developing your superpowers far easier and allows you to see problems that other non-superheroes miss. Not having a heightened awareness of how someone is explaining a problem is like the mechanic who doesn’t listen to your description of the funny sound your car is making and charges you $150 even when he can’t find anything wrong with your car.

Awareness is a very powerful tool and developing a keen awareness of what is happening around you is important when using your super powers to help people with their problems.

How aware are you?

Here are some questions to determine your current level of awareness:

• What was the color of the last bathroom you used?
• What was the eye color of the last person you spoke face to face with?
• How many stairs are there between where you are sitting and the entrance of the building you are in?
• What was the last person you saw today wearing?

If you were able to answer any of these questions, then you are more aware than the average person. If not, that is OK, but I encourage you to work on developing your awareness if you want to be known as a superhero.

Why is Awareness Important

Being aware of the world around you is important for two reasons:

• It gets you out of your own head
• It helps you better understand others
• It allows to your correctly diagnose problems that might not be apparent to less aware superheros

Getting Out of Your Own Head

How often have you been thinking about something while driving and then coming to the realization that you were not aware of the road for the past few minutes? Have you ever lost focus while someone was talking to you and you had to ask them to repeat themselves?

When we are not aware of the world, it is because we are caught up with our own thoughts. We are thinking about what we have to do after this moment when we should be focusing on what is happening in the world around us.

Understanding Others

When you are out of your own head, you are better prepared to pay attention to what someone is trying to tell you. Everyone communicates differently, so being able to take in the person’s voice, body language, and the words they use are important to understand the problem they want you to solve.

When you become aware of the changes in the pitch of their voice, the pauses before they make excuses, or other cues in their manner, you will be able to see where the real problems are and give them constructive solutions using your superpowers.

Developing Awareness

Becoming more aware of the world around you takes practice. We have been conditioned over the years to be inside our own heads, so it can take a lot of work to start focusing on the world around us. Here are a few simple things that you can do to help you focus on being more aware:

Notice your breathing

Set a reminder in your calendar to notice your breathing 10 to 12 times per day. Are you breathing deeply? How often are you taking breaths? Are you breathing in and out of your nose, mouth, or a combination of the two? Realize that you are breathing every second of the day, but most of the time you don’t even notice.

Count steps

When you encounter a series of steps, count how may steps there are between where you are and where you are trying to go to. How many times have you realized that there a four steps up to your office? How many steps are there from the first to second floor of your home? Becoming aware of the steps allows you to also notice the color of the walls, the floor, and other features of the world around you.

Observe others

What color of shirt is the person you are talking to wearing? What color are their eyes? Are they wearing earrings? When you notice the person you are talking to, you begin to pay attention to the subtle clues their voice and body language are giving you. This awareness can help you figure out if what someone is saying is exactly what they mean or do you need to help them dig deeper to find out what problem they really need solved.

Becoming Aware

Becoming aware is a great way to help you develop your superpowers. Ah yes, your superpowers. Have you thought about what your superpowers are? If not, then spend some time thinking about them and we will work on developing your superpowers in the next post.

Do you like this post? If you are or are not, then let us know in the comments. We welcome your feedback.

As A Dude Thinketh is written and edited by Chris Elliott. Chris helps small businesses figure out what their big idea is, how to get it to market, and how to get people to notice their wonderfulness. He is also a dynamic speaker and trainer in personal growth and public speaking. Do you need help with your next big idea or speech? I encourage you to talk with me to see how I can be of service.

If you liked this post, then you should also check out:

1. How to be a Superhero – Part 4: Taking Action
2. How to be a Superhero – Part 5: Joining Forces with Other Superheroes
3. How to be a Superhero – Part 3: Developing Your Superpowers

Imagine how Clark Kent must have felt sitting at his desk all day knowing that Superman was only a shirt pull away from being released. Think of how liberating it was when a calamity struck and he was able to break free from his suit and become his true self.

Do you feel like Clark Kent? Do you yearn to be free of your suit and be able to soar in the clouds with ease?

At times, we all feel that we want to be free, but how to we accomplish becoming what we know that we can be?

Step 1: Accepting that You Are Not Your Title

Do you hate when people define you by what it says on your business card or pay stub?

When you go home at night, do you really feel a deep connection with the label of Lawyer, Doctor, or Fry Cook?

If you do feel a deep connection with your title, that is OK. It means that you have found a career that will allow you to be a superhero.

For others that don’t feel a connection with their title, realize that you don’t have to accept your title when you are not in that role. When you go home at night, on lunch breaks, or when you are away from your employer, you do not have to continue to identify yourself with a title you don’t want to be.

You have permission to reject your title and embrace your super power. So if you do not want to be your title, then accept that you are not your title and begin to develop your super powers.

Step 2: Finding Your Super Power

What do you wish your super power could be?

Do you want to fly? Do you want great strength? Do you just want to be able to read people’s minds? While we will not all be able to fly or read people’s minds, we do have a super power in a skill that we might already possess.

Do you think you have a super power?

If you don’t, here is the exercise that I use to help people I coach find their undiscovered powers.

How do people ask you to help them?

• Are people asking for your help to fix their computer?
• Do people ask for your help to move?
• What about someone asking you to watch their kids, cook dinner, create a logo, or Paper Mache their house?

When someone asks for you help, it is a sign that you have a skill that others do not possess in abundance. When you are more skilled in something, you have a super power that others don’t possess.

What is your super power?

Step 3: Create an Alter Ego

Now that you have figured out your super powers, you need to create an alter ego that will be the aspect of you that shows off those super powers. Your alter ego is really you performing your super powers, but it is distilled down to the aspect of your personality that you want to show off to the world.

For example, some alter egos I have interacted with are:

• A foul mouthed marketing guru – Ittybiz
• A caffeinated web designer – The Caffeinated Elf
• A humorous blog and marketing coach – Johnny B Truant

Your alter ego is you.

Don’t think I am telling you to be someone else. Inside the shy Clark Kent was a confident Superman, but that confidence was only shown when the time was right. In the same way, your alter ego is a part of you, but it might be somewhat separate from your day to day life.

You might be a very edgy and somewhat dirty minded writer, but you are not going to deliver an edgy and dirty reading of your kid’s bedtime stories. Instead, you save your alter ego for the times that it will do the most good for the world in a way that is specific to you.

What is great about an alter ego is that it allows you to develop a very specific image in the minds of people you are helping. How can you not remember someone in a bright blue outfit and red cape that swoops down to rescue you in your time of need?

What alter ego can you develop that helps you be memorable, and fits your super power?

Step 4: Establishing Your Lair

Superman has the Fortress of Solitude and Batman has the Batcave, so you need a lair that you can call your home as well. At home, you will want to create a place that you can do your good deeds from. Make some space on a desk, in the corner, or some other place where you feel comfortable showing your alter ego and helping people with your super powers.

Once you have a physical lair, you might want to consider setting up an online lair. You can set up a website or blog. To do this, find a webhost (I use dreamhost), install word press, and start creating your online lair in your image. You can even keep it simpler than a webpage and set up a fan page on Facebook.

Whatever form your lair takes, make sure that it is suitable for your super powers and matches the personality of your alter ego. It might take some time to get your lair built, but remember that Superman had many different lairs over the years, so you can start small and develop your lair as your reputation grows around the world.

Next Steps to Becoming a Superhero

Now that you have embraced your super powers, created an alter ego, and started constructing a lair, you might be wondering how you can use your powers to help people. In the coming posts, we will look at how you can become more aware of who needs your help, how to further develop your superpowers, how to help people when they ask, and why you would want to join forces with other superheroes in order to do more good in the world.

Make sure to subscribe by e-mail or by rss to keep up to date on this series.

As A Dude Thinketh is written and edited by Chris Elliott. Chris helps small businesses figure out what their big idea is, how to get it to market, and how to get people to notice their wonderfulness. He is also a dynamic speaker and trainer in personal growth and public speaking. Do you need help with your next big idea or speech? I encourage you to talk with me to see how I can be of service.

If you liked this post, then you should also check out:

1. How to be a Superhero – Part 5: Joining Forces with Other Superheroes
2. How to be a Superhero – Part 4: Taking Action
3. How to be a Superhero – Part 3: Developing Your Superpowers

The problem is that most of the articles about procrastination actually keep us from doing whatever we are putting off doing. The articles recommend “getting organized to do it”, “getting motivated”, or telling us any number of mental lies we can use to hide the fact that we are not doing what we tell ourselves we need to be doing. Instead we are procrastinating by reading about how to overcome procrastination.

For many people that want to create a business, you can spend more time studying how to create a business than actually doing something to make that business a reality.

In my case, I have been procrastinating the building of a speaking, coaching, and consulting business for three years. For three years I have been blogging, writing free articles, incorporating my business, and discovering new accounting tools that make my year-end tax preparation for $0 in income much easier. It wasn’t until a number of months ago that I realized I was having a problem.

On a Monday afternoon, when I was getting ready to leave a Toastmasters meeting, one of my friends made a comment to me, “You have all these ideas for product, programs, and speeches. When are you going to actually follow through and sell something?”

I was floored and for three months I didn’t have an answer.

It wasn’t until I was meeting with a friend a few weeks ago that I had an answer. During the meeting, I realized what separated me from people that were successful with their businesses was not knowledge. I have enough of that. What the true separator was that successful people had an idea then executed it. They didn’t let procrastination get in the way. They took an idea and they executed it until they had created a complete product, service, or business.

I didn’t do that. Instead I jumped from idea to idea without completing anything.

After my meeting, I had enough of my mental excuses of why I couldn’t create a product, so for 6 days I spent my free time doing what I had never done before. I sat down and executed my idea for a product.

The result was an eBook and website that shows that it is possible to overcome procrastinating and create a product in a weekend.

The goal of the eBook is to help you overcome what I have overcome, the inability to turn ideas into products. It does this by giving you a plan for a Friday night through Sunday evening self-directed boot camp. During your self-directed boot camp, you will formulate an idea, get your idea organized, turn it into a product,and  then get your product packaged and available for sale.

The product you create isn’t going to be a massive product that will change the world, but I hope that it will be the product that shows you it is not as hard as you think to create and sell your products and your ideas.

Does this sound like it could help?

Then check out the sales page or just click buy now:

The cost is $37

As A Dude Thinketh is written and edited by Chris Elliott. Chris helps small businesses figure out what their big idea is, how to get it to market, and how to get people to notice their wonderfulness. He is also a dynamic speaker and trainer in personal growth and public speaking. Do you need help with your next big idea or speech? I encourage you to talk with me to see how I can be of service.

If you liked this post, then you should also check out:

1. Are You Trying to Trade A Monotonous Job for a Monotonous Business?
2. How Not to Do Free Content
3. Why You Shouldn't Download The Launch Coach Dave Navarro's Free Articles and Workbooks

It has nothing to do with their current financial situation, their upbringing, or their intelligence.

The reason that someone else is succeeding and you aren’t is that they are working their ass off while you are sitting at home watching Lost.

I didn’t have to work today. Actually, I wanted to sit at home and watch reruns of Lost, but I got up and went to the library at 7:00 AM, because I had a goal of getting a product created and available for sale by the end of the week. I am almost there, but it is because I did what many others don’t do . . . I got up and started working toward my goal.

What did I get done today that moved me forward?

Since 7:30 this morning, I have:

• Set up a personal VPN
• Wrote, edited, and posted this blog post
• Drafted three other blog posts
• Edited three additional blog posts I have been working on
• Edited a 39 page workbook
• Set up a new website
• Wrote the draft of my sales page
• Read 50 pages of Alan Weiss’ new book
• Sent a draft of my product to my accountability partner
• Had lunch with my girlfriend

I don’t say this to brag. I say this because I think it is important to demonstrate how much you personally can get done when you put your mind to it. The problem is the people that think that sitting around doing nothing is going to get them rich. They believe that they can think their way to riches or outsource their product creation to someone.

The Problem with the 4-Hour Work Week

I have nothing wrong with Tim Ferriss or the success he has had with the 4-Hour Work Week (Amazon Affiliate Link). I am actually a huge fan of what he has accomplished and what he strives to inspire others to do. What I have a problem with are the people that think that creating a product or service is about outsourcing everything on elance for as cheaply as possible then sitting around on a beach while the money rolls in.

What outsourcing knowledge and product creation does is create a large volume of cookie cutter products devoid of originality and value. If you sit down and read4-Hour Work Week (Amazon Affiliate Link) and other books that have copied Tim’s idea, you will see that working 4 hours a week is not done on the front end. It is done after you have built a portfolio of knowledge and products that can be developed into an automated system for delivering that knowledge and product to your customers.

Are you looking at the amount of work you are putting in?

So if you are wondering why your boat hasn’t arrived, maybe you need to look at the amount of work you are putting.

Are you actively learning and developing new products and services as much as possible every day?

If not, don’t you think it’s time to get off your butt and get to work?

Stay tuned and hold on tight, because I am gong to have some more on this topic and how you can get off your butt and create a product in the coming weeks.

As A Dude Thinketh is written and edited by Chris Elliott. Chris helps small businesses figure out what their big idea is, how to get it to market, and how to get people to notice their wonderfulness. He is also a dynamic speaker and trainer in personal growth and public speaking. Do you need help with your next big idea or speech? I encourage you to talk with me to see how I can be of service.

If you liked this post, then you should also check out:

1. How Not to Do Free Content
2. 5 Reasons Smart People Fail at Creating On-line Businesses
3. How to Overcome Procrastination

1. Create a niche blog.
2. Fill the niche blog with bought content.
3. Inflate your Google search rankings with backlinks.
4. Direct people that find the blog through Google to sign up for your newsletter.
5. After signing up for your newsletter, direct them to a sales page where you pitch them a $7 to $97 product.
6. Upsell buyers with private coaching or a membership site.
7. Never work another day in your life!

In my experience, most of the people that attempt to follow one of these formulas fail to create the financial freedom that they crave.

Why?

One word: Passion.

When you are starting your own business, you have to have a passion for what you are doing. When you are passionate about your business, you will find the energy to create a business that is uniquely you and that is what will sell your products or services.

Think about why you want to start a “freedom business” in the first place. Are you are in a dead in job that is draining you of energy? Why would you think that trading a monotonous job that sucks you of energy for a monotonous system of sourcing and posting crappy articles would be any better?

Successful “freedom businesses” are created with passion. They are successful because people can feel that passion in your writing, videos, and programs. Many of the people that follow your blog and business will pay you, because they see your passion for your business and know that you will provide them with a valuable product or service because of your commitment to your business.

If you are considering starting a business, then ask yourself, “Is this something I am passionate about doing?”

If you are, then go for it.

If not, then are you trading a monotonous job for a monotonous business?

Think about it then let me know if you agree or disagree with me in the comments.

I would love to hear from you.

As A Dude Thinketh is written and edited by Chris Elliott. Chris helps small businesses figure out what their big idea is, how to get it to market, and how to get people to notice their wonderfulness. He is also a dynamic speaker and trainer in personal growth and public speaking. Do you need help with your next big idea or speech? I encourage you to talk with me to see how I can be of service.

If you liked this post, then you should also check out:

1. How to Overcome Procrastination
2. How Not to Do Free Content
3. What if I Told You that Everything You Have Been Told About Finding a Niche is Wrong?

After returning from a conference or networking event, I find my mailbox and e-mail filled with newsletters and marketing materials from people with whom I exchanged contact information.

That is funny . . . I never remember any of these people asking, “Hey, do you mind if I add you to a mailing list so I can send you a load of marketing crap materials for our crap products and services?”

Repeat after me . . .

Exchanging Business Cards is Not a Free Pass to Add Someone to Your Mailing List

Just because you had a fishbowl out to collect cards for a contest, exchanged cards with someone between sessions, or got a card through a mutual acquaintance doesn’t give you permission to add card givers to your mailing list. Many of the people you meet will have no interest in you or your company. In many cases they want to do nothing more than win a prize, be polite, or make a networking connection. The offering of a card does not say, “Please market your product to me.”

Stop Wasting Your Time Carpet-bombing Card Givers

There are many marketing professionals that feel it necessary to deluge contacts with their newsletters, glossy brochures, and other marginally effective marketing materials. Not only is this a colossal waste of your time and energy, but it can make your contacts have an unfavorable opinion of your company through your carpet-bombing of people that did nothing more than give you a business card.

When many people are suffering from information overload, what makes you think that your unsolicited marketing will be more effective than anyone else’s unsolicited marketing materials?

Stop wasting your time, because when you try to market to everyone, you end up marketing to no one.

Some Advice on What You Should Be Doing

The first thing you need to do is keep track of where you got the business cards you came home with. Was it from a contest? Was it in person? Was it through a referral?

Now ask yourself, “What do I remember about this person? Do I know what their needs are? Can my product or service help them?”

Once you have that information, you can segment your contacts by how you got their card and what level of interest they have in your product or service.

Using that information, you should make a point of sending a personal e-mail to each of the in-person connections you made that might have a high level of interest in your products or services. Tell them that it was nice to meet them, remind them of a point of discussion, and give them a way to reach out to you if you can be of service. At the end of the e-mail, if you have one, you can give them the ability to opt-in to any newsletters or mailings you might have to offer.

If you had a contest or don’t remember how you got someone’s business card, a simple mass mailing can help you keep in touch with the people that want to know more about your products and services. Include in the e-mail how you got their card, and then give them some incentive to opt-in to your marketing message. Provide some value in the form of a report, consultation, or other free information and then if they want to know more, give them a way to opt-in to receive your marketing.

The Result of Allowing People to Opt-In

When you give your new contacts a choice of opting-in, you give them the power to listen to you. Many people should respect this gesture even if they don’t opt-in. This helps you develop trust with your contacts and makes it possible to connect again in the future.

Have you ever gotten unsolicited marketing materials after a conference?

How did it make you feel?

Let us know in the comments.

As A Dude Thinketh is written and edited by Chris Elliott. Chris helps small businesses figure out what their big idea is, how to get it to market, and how to get people to notice their wonderfulness. He is also a dynamic speaker and trainer in personal growth and public speaking. Do you need help with your next big idea or speech? I encourage you to talk with me to see how I can be of service.

If you liked this post, then you should also check out:

1. FTC Announces New Rules on Disclosure and why that is Great for Your Business
2. Why Your Business is Like Most Chinese Restaurants