If you have ever taken a martial art, you might have run into that one person in the school that just had to prove that they were better than you. Whether they threw you too hard, or threw a punch that you were not advanced enough to block, they let you know through their action that they were better than you.
Compare that to the person that saw when you were having difficulty with a move. What would that person do for you? They would slow down, show you, and guide you to doing it correctly. They didn’t try to show off or hurt you. That person let you learn the techniques without fear that you were going to get hurt.
Which of the two people would you want to practice?
The first person, call him Mr. Hard. He wants you to know that he is good. When he is able to toss you around like a rag doll, it makes him feel like he knows what he is doing. By knocking you down, he is pushing himself up.
The second person, call her Ms. Soft. She wants you to know that it is OK that you are not good, but she is here to help you become great. She knows what she is doing, and wants you to get there as well. By helping you up, she will get helped up as you grow.
How are you growing yourself and your business?
Are you balancing on the backs of people that you knocked down or are you being held up by the people that you brought up with you?
Many times, whether we realize it or not, we are Mr. Hard when it comes to our business and personal development. Consider the last time you saw one of your competitors in business or at work fail. Did you offer your hand to pick them up or were you cheering their failure?
If you are feeling bad at this point, don’t fret. It is common in our society to cheer for the victors and to bash the losers. If you have ever read Stranger in a Strange Land (Amazon Affiliate Link) by Robert Heinlein, then you might have learned from Valentine Michael Smith’s humor hypothesis that all humor is at the expense of someone else. This is one of the consequences of being human that we have to realize. It is OK to laugh, but also feel for someone’s misfortune.
Start Lifting Others Up
The first step to change from pushing down to lifting up doesn’t have to be large. It could be asking a co-worker that is struggling with a problem if there is anything you can do to help. Maybe a committee member of an association needs some help getting a project done. It doesn’t have to be a huge act on your part but sometimes, many times, the small things you do to lift people up have a huge impact in the future.
I believe that our lives and our businesses cannot be sustained on pushing others down. The only way to build a sustainable future is by supporting others so that they will support you whether it is in success or failure.
What do you think? Is it better to succeed from other’s failure or do you try to help everyone have a chance at success?
Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
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