Thank You

When someone provides you feedback, criticizes you, or tries to give you advice that you asked for; what is your response?

Do you accept the feedback or do you try to defend yourself?

For example, someone sent me an e-mail asking me for advice in finding a job. I responded back saying that I did not know the sender personally, but here are some ways they can meet people that can help them. I also included feedback on errors in the email and comments that I did not know the person well enough to speak in person. Due to the advice and rejection I gave, I expected a defensive response from the sender.

A few minutes later I got an e-mail thanking me for my advice and stating that in the e-mail the person said they just wanted advice. Now that was true, but this was a long e-mail asking for a connection in order to get a job. The sender asked for more than simple advice and they defended themselves from my criticism….though much more subtly then most I might add.

Do you defend yourself when you get feedback? Subtle or not, many of us feel a need to defend our actions and beliefs from criticism. When confronted, we say, “Thank you, but…” I want to tell you, there is no but. Just say, “Thank you.”

You might not agree with the feedback you are receiving and that is OK. However, your defense to the person giving feedback is unnecessary. They have provided advice, asked for or not, and the best thing you can do is say, “Thank you.” Move on and continue with your day.

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